Surrendered

 

 “I want to rethink ‘surrender’ as an active verb.”~Brian Eno

Every once in a while, I encounter a situation that rocks my foundation. Or, I encounter something that pushes me past my limits. It may be a sudden occurrence or a long term situation that gets me to the end of my coping strategies. Figuratively, and sometimes literally, this thing brings me to my knees.

What happens when you get to the end of yourself; all your coping strategies exhausted?

Surrender happens when you wake up to the realization that you don’t know what to do. You can’t see the way out. You don’t have the answers. You’re not in control. Your back is against the wall and there’s no way out, but surrender.

The hardship is in the path to surrender. We are socialized to control everything in our surroundings. We have elaborate plans and strategies, plan A to Z and Aa if necessary! It is the reason we keep contacts even of people we have not spoken to in ages; you never know when they’ll come in handy. We fight, reject, ignore, and manoeuvre, anything to get out of a situation we’re not comfortable in. That is until, the big one pins us to the wall and forces us on our knees, at the end of our rope.

In surrender, you give up the notion that you are in control. You give up the belief that you can make reality any different from what it is at present. And you find profound relief in giving up the mistaken belief that you are in charge.

When I surrender, I let go of the results of my actions and accept that I can do everything perfectly (and I am a perfectionist), and still not reach the goal I had set out to achieve. I am now forced to pay attention to the moment I am in as it is the only one I have any certainty about. I can now enter a state of flow and experience the beauty of the present without a care about a future I have no control over.

To whom do I surrender? “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21 (ESV) That alone, is enough to tell me that unless my plans align with those of God, I am already failed before I begin. Indeed, 2020 showed us that we could plan and have it all turned upside down on a large scale. Surrender demands that I die to my desires and passions, accept that Someone greater has a purpose for me to fulfil and surrender to that ‘master plan’ if I am to find any fulfilment on this side of heaven. Often, the master plan is way better than any human crafted plan – Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Peter the fisherman, Saul of Tarsus, and many others can all attest to this.

I chose to sidestep the path of struggle to surrender by getting on my knees before I am brought to my knees. I commit my ways to the Lord and ask for direction and guidance, every day. It is the only way I know to find peace with the outcome of anything that either elates or crushes me. With God’s help, I can rejoice in all outcomes assured that My Father is in control.

“Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.” ~ Martin Luther

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