Surrendered
“I want to rethink ‘surrender’ as an active verb.”~Brian Eno
Every once in a while, I
encounter a situation that rocks my foundation. Or, I encounter something that
pushes me past my limits. It may be a sudden occurrence or a long term
situation that gets me to the end of my coping strategies. Figuratively, and
sometimes literally, this thing brings me to my knees.
What happens when you get to the
end of yourself; all your coping strategies exhausted?
Surrender happens when you wake
up to the realization that you don’t know what to do. You can’t see the way
out. You don’t have the answers. You’re not in control. Your back is against
the wall and there’s no way out, but surrender.
The hardship is in the path to
surrender. We are socialized to control everything in our surroundings. We have
elaborate plans and strategies, plan A to Z and Aa if necessary! It is the
reason we keep contacts even of people we have not spoken to in ages; you never
know when they’ll come in handy. We fight, reject, ignore, and manoeuvre,
anything to get out of a situation we’re not comfortable in. That is until, the
big one pins us to the wall and forces us on our knees, at the end of our rope.
In surrender, you give up the
notion that you are in control. You give up the belief that you can make
reality any different from what it is at present. And you find profound relief
in giving up the mistaken belief that you are in charge.
When I surrender, I let go of the
results of my actions and accept that I can do everything perfectly (and I am a
perfectionist), and still not reach the goal I had set out to achieve. I am now
forced to pay attention to the moment I am in as it is the only one I have any
certainty about. I can now enter a state of flow and experience the beauty of
the present without a care about a future I have no control over.
To whom do I surrender? “Many are
the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will
stand.” Proverbs 19:21 (ESV) That alone, is enough to tell me that unless my
plans align with those of God, I am already failed before I begin. Indeed, 2020
showed us that we could plan and have it all turned upside down on a large
scale. Surrender demands that I die to my desires and passions, accept that
Someone greater has a purpose for me to fulfil and surrender to that ‘master
plan’ if I am to find any fulfilment on this side of heaven. Often, the master
plan is way better than any human crafted plan – Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Peter
the fisherman, Saul of Tarsus, and many others can all attest to this.
I chose to sidestep the path of
struggle to surrender by getting on my knees before I am brought to my
knees. I commit my ways to the Lord and ask for direction and guidance, every
day. It is the only way I know to find peace with the outcome of anything that
either elates or crushes me. With God’s help, I can rejoice in all outcomes
assured that My Father is in control.
“Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.” ~ Martin Luther
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