Marah

 

“Bitterness can be corrosive. It can rewrite your memories as if it were scrubbing a crime scene clean, until in the end you only remember what suits you of its causes.” ~ Fredrik Backman

In the Book of Exodus (15:23), a story is told of how the Israelites walked in the Shur desert for 3 days without water. Thirsty, they were very happy to find water, only for the water to turn out to be bitter and undrinkable. They named the place ‘Marah’ which means bitterness.

Bitterness can be defined as a state proceeding from or exhibiting strong animosity; or marked by cynicism or resentment. A bitter person is like a balloon, so full of gas that’s dying to be released but is in the meantime churning angrily inside the confined space.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with a group of very bitter people. They were passionate about holding on to their bitterness, justifying it with a distorted understanding of their position and their issues. What struck me about them was their determination to go to any lengths to hurt the one they thought was causing their resentment.

Bitterness is rooted in resentment which could be a result of disappointment, unmet expectations, hurt feelings, and wounds from hurtful words or unjust treatment. Its only solution is forgiveness. Letting go. Hard? You bet! But how many times have I been given grace for my sins against others? How many people out there have forgiven me, not to mention that God still makes His sun shine on me despite the many wrongs I commit against Him.

For a while, the wronged party feels justified to hold on to their hurt, anger and entitlement to better treatment. However, after a while, bitterness takes root and starts causing all manner of issues, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Bitterness is recognized by the body as a state of stress, which can range from mild to chronic. Stress affects the immune function in the body, resulting in anxiety, depression, hypertension, pain, insomnia, heart disease among others. In short, you hold bitterness against another, then it turns around and eats you alive!

In my younger days, holding on to anger against others was something I found very justifiable. I learnt as I grew older that the poison eats you inside and leaves a hollow while those I hold bitterness against go on to live their lives unperturbed, and often unaware of the bile brewing within me. It is getting easier to let go and forgive with age as I witness people self-destruct because of holding on to things that have no eternal value. I have also learnt that the universe keeps and settles scores so I need not fret about genuine wrongs done to me; all debts are paid on this side of heaven, whether or not I am there to collect. Also, when I eventually meet my maker, I will only be answering for my deeds and thoughts, not for any other person. He knows what has been done to me and He says “vengeance is mine, I will repay.” (Deuteronomy 32:35)

I pray that those bitter souls I encountered will find peace before their bitterness consumes them. But they left me warned that I could also take offense at something done to me and end up walking in their shoes if I am not careful to be slow to anger. People are weird and weird people do all manner of strange things. It is not personal. It just is. Give thanks for a new day and offer a prayer for people who hurt others. They are hurting inside and know no better way of being other than hurting others back. May we not be like the place of bitter waters.

“Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it.” ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

 

 

 

 

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