Rubber Band

 

“For two hours I’d felt myself stretching tighter and tighter, like a rubber band pulled to the point of snapping. And now, I could feel the smaller, weaker part of myself beginning to fray, tiny bits giving way before the big break.” ~ Sarah Dessen

That’s how I feel today. Like a stretched one that does not know when it will return to its resting place.

Nairobi is deserted, shops are closed and the usual crowd on the streets is missing. The only action is on screens where the numbers are changing ever so slowly and all everyone is clamoring for now is an end to the wait. Yes, it feels like time got suspended and it will only pick up when we collectively exhale.

We’ve been here before. Severally. And it’s not a good place to be. But we are praying that whichever way the dice fall, peace prevails.

I’ve known the waiting game for a long time. In life, we are always waiting for something even if it is only for the sunrise or for sundown. Some waiting games have been full of anticipation, others full of dread, others neutral. Some waiting games have a countdown, others are indefinite. Some get rewarded positively, others are shelved because the passage of time renders them void. We are always waiting for something – that’s a fact.

In the meantime, what are you doing? Biting your nails? Preparing for the next phase or season? Keeping busy with something, anything? The activities of the intermediate are what determine whether the wait will be fruitful or agonizing.

At some point yesterday, the wait had become agonizing. Shifting from one channel to the other and getting worked up about the different tallies, back to social media and seeing the different opinions of people on either side – the pressure went a notch higher. I had to decide what was best for me at this point, in this location.

Fact: I was not an aspirant in the just concluded elections. Fact: my life is still waiting for me to live it – the clothes will not wash themselves, the food will not cook itself and most of all, there is no stimulus check heading to me in the mail. So I have two choices – to keep living or to suspend living, and the second choice is not possible or practical.

For those with families, this is a great time to catch up whether you’re together or in different locations. Make that call, have that conversation, get that elephant that’s been in that closet out. The short rains are expected any time soon – get those curtains down and do some spring cleaning. Those shirt buttons you’ve been meaning to mend – here is the time. That sweater you started and never finished, the book you only read halfway . . . if nothing else is happening out there, get something happening in there where you are. You’ll be grateful you started or finished that project.

Whatever you do, do not spend time messing up with your mental, physical or emotional health. It is too high a price to pay and especially in this inflationary economy. No political process is worth that high a price. Use the wait to move your goals forward, to develop a skill, to complete a pending issue and free up your mind.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” ~ Audre Lorde