A Lifetime's Not Too Long

 

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ~ Bob Marley

This week, I saw a post online where someone was lamenting about how she overheard her ‘friends’ gossiping about her and the hurtful things they said about her. Well, the friends did not know she was anywhere close and they really sought to outdo themselves. The lady stayed concealed, took it all in, and then discreetly left and was now asking strangers online what she ought to do with the new knowledge.

As usual, I read a few comments and scrolled along but later I got thinking about the situation.

First, it is not a new situation. It has happened to countless others.

Secondly, what had made her think they were her friends so far? Had the ‘friendship’ been tested through various circumstances? Had it weathered different seasons of life? How much time had been invested in building it?

I quickly calculated how long I’ve known a number of my friends – 20, 15, 11, and 7 years. These are people who have been there in the good and bad on either side. People I have come to know in joy and pain. People in whom I have invested time, money, skills, emotions, vulnerability, and much more. It is not easy knowing a person and allowing them to know you, then sticking it out for years. It is hard.

I recently attended a function where my mother was with a friend she had met 50 years ago. They attended college, worked, started and raised families and they’re now grandparents, retired, invested, ran businesses – and they are still friends. I have been around to watch some of the thick and thin of that friendship and I can only marvel at what it takes to keep going for so long.

Were there ever disagreements? Tons. Was either of them ever offended by the other? Is that even a question (eye roll)? Periods of silence? Catch-up seasons? Joyful seasons? Funerals and sad times? All of it! It took commitment and many times, sacrifice. Life happens to us inconveniently most times. It is never easy to schedule a time to go see a friend in the hospital or accompany them to a funeral. And you’re usually broke when they need a donation to send a dear one to India for treatment. But are you committed to them? Do you love them? Where there is a will, you will find a way.

And that is how months turn into years, and years into decades, and decades into a lifetime.

Who are you committed to? Are you going all out or are you only in it when it’s convenient for you?

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT

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