So, What Now? The 5-Minute Rule

Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.”~Sarah Dessen

Life comes with twists and turns that can at times cripple us for a while or forever. The loss of a loved one, the falling through of a deal we’d pegged our hopes on, the end of yet another promising relationship! Some of these situations can feel like the back of our knees have been whacked and we crumble to the floor with no strength to rise up again.

And there’s nothing wrong with staying down for a while. Part of moving on is acknowledging the present and taking time to grieve those things that hurt us. Consolidating our lessons and charting a way forward are all part of the grief process. But, life is for the living. And so long as you’re breathing, you do have to get up from the ashes and move on. Some can’t and don’t find the strength within them to pull up. This is where friends and relatives come in handy to hold our hands, pull us up, and walk alongside our wobbly selves until we can find our rhythm and slowly let go.

But the cry for help must come from inside you. Just as you cannot force an addict into effective rehab, in any situation we find ourselves in, we have to muster the courage to rise and try again. Love plays a big role in this. The love for one’s children can propel a widow to rise up from her grief and tackle life ferociously in order to ensure her children thrive. The love of the game has been known to propel an injured athlete to recovery and spectacular rebound to a successful season. Rejection by a love interest has resulted in creation of masterpieces of art and music that have outlived their creators. And on and on go the examples of those who have mastered the art of loving enough to propel rebound and regeneration.

What keeps some stuck and others rising? The answers are as many as those who have encountered roadblocks of any kind in life. But, there is a system that could help you get up and get moving in as little as 5-minutes.

First, acknowledge the event. Accept reality, and journal about your feelings concerning the event. Second, do you need to vent? Smash something, scream, cry, punch a wall? Go ahead, get it all out. Empty yourself so that what is inside does not turn sour and eat you up instead. Third, ask the question “So, what now?”Can I restore the previous condition? Even if I could, could I then erase the past? In my case, this is the point at which I turn to God who is not surprised it happened in the first place. So I’ll have a conversation with him and tell him what I think and feel about it. Oh, by the way, he’s man enough to take whatever I have to say, no need to pussy foot around it using medieval English and poetic language. Take a cue from Job’s laments to lay it all out. He can see your heart, mind and thoughts even those you try to hide from him. After he’s heard from me, it’s time to get introspective and ask what’s the lesson for me? What did I overlook, what did I not see coming, what have I learnt and how can I grow from it all?

5-minutes. That’s all I’m allowed for everyday inconveniences. For major events, I could take 5 hours or 5 days. But I have to have a timer and once it runs out, it’s time to get moving. Ready or not. After all, time and tide wait for no man. And my delay will not turn the clock back. So why not wrap up the Kleenex party, pluck the courage and move towards the next challenge, trembling but wiser. Take a break, but don’t stop.

All great beginnings start in the dark, when the moon greets you to a new day at midnight.”~Shannon L. Alder

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

On Pain

Out for Service

Horse and Buggy Days