So, What Now? The 5-Minute Rule
Life comes with twists and turns
that can at times cripple us for a while or forever. The loss of a loved one,
the falling through of a deal we’d pegged our hopes on, the end of yet another
promising relationship! Some of these situations can feel like the back of our
knees have been whacked and we crumble to the floor with no strength to rise up
again.
And there’s nothing wrong with
staying down for a while. Part of moving on is acknowledging the present and
taking time to grieve those things that hurt us. Consolidating our lessons and
charting a way forward are all part of the grief process. But, life is for the
living. And so long as you’re breathing, you do have to get up from the ashes
and move on. Some can’t and don’t find the strength within them to pull up.
This is where friends and relatives come in handy to hold our hands, pull us
up, and walk alongside our wobbly selves until we can find our rhythm and
slowly let go.
But the cry for help must come
from inside you. Just as you cannot force an addict into effective rehab, in
any situation we find ourselves in, we have to muster the courage to rise and
try again. Love plays a big role in this. The love for one’s children can
propel a widow to rise up from her grief and tackle life ferociously in order
to ensure her children thrive. The love of the game has been known to propel an
injured athlete to recovery and spectacular rebound to a successful season.
Rejection by a love interest has resulted in creation of masterpieces of art
and music that have outlived their creators. And on and on go the examples of
those who have mastered the art of loving enough to propel rebound and
regeneration.
What keeps some stuck and others
rising? The answers are as many as those who have encountered roadblocks of any
kind in life. But, there is a system that could help you get up and get moving
in as little as 5-minutes.
First, acknowledge the event.
Accept reality, and journal about your feelings concerning the event. Second,
do you need to vent? Smash something, scream, cry, punch a wall? Go ahead, get
it all out. Empty yourself so that what is inside does not turn sour and eat
you up instead. Third, ask the question “So, what now?”Can I restore the
previous condition? Even if I could, could I then erase the past? In my case,
this is the point at which I turn to God who is not surprised it happened in
the first place. So I’ll have a conversation with him and tell him what I think
and feel about it. Oh, by the way, he’s man enough to take whatever I have to
say, no need to pussy foot around it using medieval English and poetic
language. Take a cue from Job’s laments to lay it all out. He can see your
heart, mind and thoughts even those you try to hide from him. After he’s heard
from me, it’s time to get introspective and ask what’s the lesson for me? What
did I overlook, what did I not see coming, what have I learnt and how can I
grow from it all?
5-minutes. That’s all I’m allowed
for everyday inconveniences. For major events, I could take 5 hours or 5 days.
But I have to have a timer and once it runs out, it’s time to get moving. Ready
or not. After all, time and tide wait for no man. And my delay will not turn
the clock back. So why not wrap up the Kleenex party, pluck the courage and
move towards the next challenge, trembling but wiser. Take a break, but don’t
stop.
“All great beginnings start in the dark, when the moon greets you to a new day at midnight.”~Shannon L. Alder
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