Grief

 

“We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world – the company of those who have known suffering.”~Hellen Keller

For the second week in a row, I spent Wednesday attending a memorial service. I have attended more of those this year than I had for all my previous years combined! Yes, death is on a harvest spree among us and we who are left have to live with grief and loss and pain.

Not all of us learn how to cope with the pain of loss. For some, they fixate on the pain and it becomes their ever present reality. Others seek ways to numb the pain and end up in addictions that temporarily numb their un-dealt with pain.

Kahlil Gibran had an interesting perspective on death, as recorded in The Prophet:

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides,

that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Death is a path we will all walk, some sooner than others. Indeed, every morning that we arise is a day that we take a risk to live, knowing we could well be rising to our appointment with death.

Knowing that its certainty is guaranteed, our focus should then be first on how we live, the legacy we are building and secondly on what we believe should be our preparation for the afterlife. As it is written in Hebrews 9:27 “And just as it is appointed for people to die once – and after this, judgement”, my task so long as I’m alive is to prepare for that meeting with my maker. To live in a manner that ensures there will be no condemnation.

A lot of us are wrongly focusing on what caused the death of our loved ones. Any number of causes has been to blame for the demise of millions since the world begun. Our focus instead should be on whether we maximised our relationship with them while they were alive. Did we know them and enjoy them fully while we had them? What can we learn from their lives and how can we implement it with those that are still here? If I was in their place, what legacy would I have left? Today, what eulogy are you writing for yourself? Are you telling those you love that you love them or are you waiting to say it to their lifeless body?

“Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”~Kahlil Gibran