Can I Really?

 

“The most important question you need to ask yourself is this: How would I show up if I were already the best in the world?” ~ Ash Ambirge

One of my regular podcast hosts was recently discussing imposter syndrome. I took a detour and searched for the synonyms of ‘imposter’ – 2 that stuck out were phony and fraudster.

The American Psychological Association defines imposter syndrome as a situation in which highly accomplished, successful individuals paradoxically believe they are frauds who ultimately will fail and be unmasked as incompetent. The person feels that their previous achievements resulted from chance or error, despite their qualifications or expertise.

It is a situation where you are afraid that you are not whom people think you are and you will soon be found out. It is not a one-off situation as it can recur in different circumstances. In my view, this is the opposite of being cocky and unaware of your weaknesses, though in most situations it can be taken far enough to result in paralysis of action.

I have a strong creative streak that I exercise in various crafts, with varying degrees of expertise in each. The very first rug I ever made was grabbed from me seconds after the last stitch was in! The next one was given out as a baby present and the recipient proceeded to order another one. And it was at this exact moment that all panic rose and a voice started screaming “NO! you cannot take an order, how dare you charge for something you’re still learning to make?!”

I’d love to say that voice has since left but sadly I’d be lying if I said so. It seems to have a title deed to some corner of my mind and keeps coming up every time I try something or upscale an old skill. So where do I get the courage to continue with every new project?

First, I have an inner circle of cheerleaders (and stressors if I’m honest) who keep giving me the gift of encouragement. And I receive it – sometimes reluctantly, but I am learning to be gracious in my receiving. These are people who have taught me, received my gifts, and flaunted them to my embarrassment but always challenged me to take the next step and keep growing.

Secondly, one of my values is to be a continual learner. As I have acquired a bag full of years, it gets harder to let go of old ways but I am committed to learning so I show up. Showing up to your giftings and talents requires that you do everything in your power to keep learning, keep improving. “Competence is a great creator of confidence.” ~ Mary Jo Putney New and easier ways of doing your craft keep coming up and you don’t have to go to school or pay money to learn them. YouTube is a great resource for anyone seeking to learn.

Third, give yourself some grace, especially when you fail. It is extremely disheartening to discover my pattern is off half an hour into what I thought was great flow. Having to undo and redo a project can kill your motivation. It is even worse if your very promising recipe has just baked for the last 30 minutes but looks nothing like the expected results and tastes like blockboard!! Ever heard of Wim Hof? He has great 10-minute deep breathing exercise videos on YouTube for free – use them, take a walk, come back and undo if you have to. After all, my goal is to do excellent work, whether the client will realize it or not. Grace, deep breath in, out, grace. You’re human after all – ha ha ha.

Les Brown starts and ends most of his talks with the statement “You have something special, you have greatness in you.” The fourth way to overcome imposter syndrome is to see YOUR spectacular. We all have special gifts and talents that are not in anyone else in the specific combination they exist in us. There is and will only ever be ONE YOU. Appreciate your spectacular, it will keep you from falling into the comparison trap.

Fifth and last, own your space. Act like you’re supposed to be where you are, doing what you’re doing, occupying your space. Fear will always be there, do it afraid but do it anyway. If I’ve only ever baked one cake – I am a baker. Have I only climbed Mt. Longonot? I am a hiker. One blog post? I am a writer. Write out I am affirmations that describe who you are working towards becoming and begin to say them out loud. Call out the greatness in yourself.

Do not cut off the process of your development by listening to imposter syndrome. Have faith in who you are becoming, holding on to the promise of Philippians 4:13 “I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” (CSB)

“The ultimate act of surrender to God is rebellion against lies: the lies that the enemy has spoken to you, and the lies that you might have told yourself about you.” ~ Andrena Sawyer