Fly A Kite

 

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” ~ Mandy Hale

Some time back, I heard someone use the expression ‘doesn’t pay rent’ to describe something that was taking space in their life without adding value. In their case, they were on an eviction spree of all the clothes that were not ‘paying rent’ in their wardrobe. Stuff that didn’t fit anymore, that was too faded or too big or too out of fashion. Ever since, I’ve always had an eviction day of sorts, usually at the end of the year, and it mostly starts with a sweep of social media connections whose time has lapsed. I however draw the line at books and yarn. Those get to stay until such a time as I’ll be done with those addictions.

I recently realized I have service and product providers in my life that are rent defaulters. They started out being sent from above – great value for money, more under one roof, quality products delivered with a smile, . . . and other slogans that promise the world. Eventually, they have not only stopped providing some of their products, service has taken a nose dive and most likely prices have escalated. We all know the ‘Karen Phenomenon’ of the ‘I want to see the manager’ fame. I am in the opposite category. I prefer to let my money and custom do the walking, quietly to the next vendor, without drama.

Sounds easy right? Wrong! It never is. There is something about knowing where everything is displayed at that branch of the supermarket. Something about a cashier who already knows your preferred mode of payment. The ease of not having to keep sending a pin to the delivery guy. Humans are creatures of habit and it is easier to stick with that devil you know than to rise up and go in search of the angel out there. I understand.

However, growing older has taught me that I’m closer to quit time than I’d like to admit. I might have much less time left than I’ve already spent. In that case, I don’t have the bandwidth to entertain mediocrity. I need be moving on swiftly when things are not working as they should be.

One of the reasons we hesitate especially when we’ve formed a relationship with the vendor is that we’d like to see them improve. And we’ve probably shared feedback and asked for improvement. However, it gets to a point where we must realize we can only change ourselves, we can only improve ourselves, not others. In which case, I’d advise that you start seeing yourself as worthy of the best service your money can buy so it’s time to move to better service. No hard feelings, it’s all about the money. (Look up the 1998 hit by Meja – All ‘Bout The Money)

Another thing we fail to realize is that the other person may have moved on to other things, their focus may have moved on and they are only staying because you keep coming back. Find an alternative service provider and give your first one a leave of absence. If after the break they are still there, you can evaluate if the alternative was giving better services and you stay or go back to the initial one, with some conditions for improvement.

The year is ending and as you consider what worked and what did not, make a point to identify rent defaulters and evict them. They are energy vampires that never give back and keep sucking your joy, occupying space, and loading unnecessary weight on a life that’s already burdened.

When we were young, we had a VCR tape of the movie Mary Poppins, starring Julie Andrews. We watched that movie hundreds of times but my favorite part was the ending when as Mary Poppins is floating away, the whole town is gathering to fly kites at the park. Those floating kites looked loose, free and ready to go – except for the string that guided them. This year end, I will be making kites with no strings. I’m letting go of people whose paths have diverged from mine, of things that no longer serve a positive purpose in my life, of experiences I have now outgrown, of faded clothes and shoes that hurt my knees.

When you let go, you create space for new things, new experiences, new people. You make room for growth and learning. You create room for wonder as you welcome new experiences. You get to discover that after the thrill of a kite, there’s hot air balloons! Bigger, bolder, better. What are you waiting for? Get out your paper, glue and string and begin to make the kites that will be the good-bye vehicles for those things that you’re letting go of. Love yourself enough to want better for you in the new year.

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people [things] are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ~ Steve Maraboli

 Are you old enough to have jammed to this one? If not, focus on the lyrics and enjoy.