Life Is Like A River
In an article by Paulo Coelho, he wrote:
“Hollows call for patience. All of a sudden the river enters a sort of hole and stops running as joyfully as before. At such moments the only way out is to count on the help of time. When the right moment comes, the hollow fills up and the water can flow ahead. In the place of the ugly, lifeless hole, there now stands a lake that others can contemplate with joy.”
This past Monday, I got plunged into a hollow that had the capacity to suck me up and sink me deep if it had not been for the prayers and support of a few close friends and family. It was also a very reflective week as I was working on my annual planner. As I went through my journal entries of this year, I looked back on the other holes, peaks, valleys and obstacles and everything that’s been in my way all year through. It was definitely the perfect time to review because it quickly got me to put the events of Monday evening into perspective.
Life is indeed like a river.
First, it never stops no matter who gets off or on. This past year, so many people I knew alighted from the bus and a good number of little ones have joined us on the journey. We keep moving so long as we are blessed to have breath.
Secondly, the terrain changes from day to day. Of that you can be sure. Some days you flow through lush green and cool meadows, other days you get sucked into the underground recesses of a sweltering hot, barren limestone flat and end up flowing for miles out of sight – but still you flow.
Thirdly, when obstacles stand in your path, you find a new one to follow. Around the rock you go, over or under you climb but move on you must. And this is what my favorite writer is talking about. Some days you disappear into a hole and feel like life has stopped. However, with time, you realize that it takes only a certain amount of you to fill the hole and what looked daunting while empty is after a while something you could fill in and turn into a beautiful lake for others to admire.
It's all in perspective. And yes, at the moment when you sink into that hole for the first time, the pain is real and deep. Reach out, ask for help – a prayer, a word of encouragement, a helping hand. And also don’t be afraid to speak out if you’re offered platitudes that hurt more than help. Self-care at such a time is extremely important.
My biggest lesson in this hole is that it is OK for me to just vent and be listened to in silence. When my friends said they had no words to offer, I was grateful for their being there, the calls, the prayers. I was not looking for speeches, just listening ears. Also, it is OK to not be self-sufficient. I accepted help and that was fine too. If this river keeps flowing, one day another river will need a tributary to boost it and I will gladly fill it up. Accepting help does not diminish my value.
As time has moved on, my heart rate has returned to normal, the pain is not as raw. I lost much but I’m still alive and this too shall pass. I don’t have any answers for my pain but I am still flowing.
“We have an unknown distance yet to run, an unknown river to explore. What falls there are, we know not; what rocks beset the channel, we know not; what walls ride over the river, we know not. Ah, well! We many conjecture many things.” ~ John Wesley Powell
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