Please Be Mine

 

“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Some months back, a friend rescued an abandoned kitten and brought it to me. She was small and very scared. Once I got her out of the box she came in, she immediately looked for the darkest corner in the room and went under. I allowed her to calm down without disturbance for the night and left out a bowl of water. A day later, she would not come out and would not eat, and was just shaking in her hideout. I was now worried she’d get sick or die from dehydration so I coaxed her out only for her to get out of one corner and quickly find another. Eventually, she found a way out of the house and disappeared.

A day later though, I spotted a fur ball running away as soon as I opened the gate and discovered she’d found a hideout within the compound. And thus began the journey of wooing my kitten. I got her a food and water bowl, a litter box, and some toys. I hear her getting out to go eat but every time I come to say hi she quickly runs away. Nevertheless, I kept up my efforts. Changing the litter box daily, bringing food at a regular time, and speaking to her through a crack though I can’t even see her.

In the last two weeks, we’ve made a lot of progress in our ‘don’t-touch-me-with-a-ten-foot-pole’ relationship. She started coming out and letting me see her so long as I stayed at least two meters away. Any movement on my part would be punished by her immediate disappearance. Then I found a spot where I’d sit in the evening and allow her to ‘inspect me’. She’d come out, walk very wide circles around me, yell at me, and once her curiosity was satisfied, she’d leave. One of those evenings she agreed to eat some ice cream with me, so long as I pushed her bowl a meter away.

This week she’s been to my house twice. In both instances, I’ve had to be on the furthest-from-the-door seat, and I’ve also had to keep really still. She discovered my curtains, a cushion on the sofa, and something in the kitchen (I have no idea what since I couldn’t move from my spot). On her second visit, she explored her very first hideout – my bedroom. Then she ran back to her hideout (I guess to process the memory?) but she finally allowed me to touch her! No I didn’t get to pet her – she pet me. Through an opening in her hideout, I poked in my hand and she rubbed her head against it.

Obviously, my patient persistence is paying off in bits – but on Bailey’s terms, not mine. Is she going to be my birthday gift this month or will she be my Christmas gift this year? I don’t know, yet. But I know that working for her trust and love have cost me in time, money and emotional health.

Human relationships exact a much higher price. And maybe that is why we don’t pursue them as relentlessly as I’m pursuing Bailey. But the rewards are far more immense when we finally cement that friendship and walk through life together. Or the rejection in the event the opposite is true; devastating. Who have you given up on lately? Had you really exhausted all the avenues for connection? Was it really a done deal, lost cause, done and dusted affair? Is loneliness a better option? Some people we just have to let go. Others – maybe we didn’t work hard enough. But there’s that one who is just waiting for you to say ‘hi’ first. Go on, just do it. What’s the worst that could happen?

Dress up your patience and persistence muscles and get them back in the gym. Try again. . . even a cat will eventually say ‘yes’.

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” ~ David G. Allen

 

NB: the annual planning booklet ‘Year Compass’ for 2023 is out. Find it here and get started reviewing this year and planning the next.